|Weapons||Grappling Hook, AK-47, PKM Machine Gun, RPG-7|
|Activities||Vessel hijacking, Piracy, Rebellion and Terrorism|
|Service||1992 - Present|
|Battle Status||Won vs. Medellin Cartel|
|Experts||Abdi Ali (Somali Native/Army Veteran)|
Haji Ukajh (Somali Refuge/Weapons Expert)
"Somalia used to be a dumping ground for Russian arms back in the cold war. Anything that goes "boom", you can find in Somalia."- Abdi Ali
Somali Pirates, Africa's deadly new breed of high-seas hijackers who make millions holding merchant ships hostage
Vs. the Medellin Cartel, Colombia's killer drug lords who built the world's largest cocaine empire
Stats[edit | edit source]
- Reign of Terror: 1992 - Present
- Height: 5' 10"
- Weight: 145 lbs
- Crimes: Vessel Hijacking
- Symbol - Modern Jolly Roger (with two crossed AK-47s to replace two Cutlass.)
Weapons[edit | edit source]
|Close Range:||Grappling Hook|
|Long Range:||PKM Machine Gun|
|Explosive Weapons:||RPG-7 Rocket Launcher|
For short-range weapons, the machete was tested against the grappling hook. The machete cleaved off the arms and severed the throat of a gel torso while the grappling hook ripped into a pig carcass. The edge was given to the machete since the grappling hook wasn't designed to be a weapon.
For mid-range weapons, the Mini Uzi was tested against the AK-47. The Mini Uzi emptied an entire clip into two targets inside a car with most of the hits being in the head and neck areas while Abdi Ali, wielding the AK-47, killed two targets at 50yds and two targets at 100yds while riding on a small skiff. The edge was given to the AK-47 for its longer range and firepower.
For long-range weapons, the M60 was tested against the PKM against four moving targets. The PKM completed its test in 1m and 43s but jammed once while the M60 jammed twice. The edge was given to the PKM for its higher rate of fire and better mechanical reliability.
For explosive weapons, the car bomb was tested against the RPG-7. The Car bomb was tested on the set of an average city street. The resulting explosion was larger then the set itself. The RPG-7 was used against a small house set. While it couldn't deliver the same power as the car bomb, it could be used for repeated fire. The Car Bomb was given the edge for its destructive force.
History[edit | edit source]
Somalia has had piracy since ancient times due to the Red Sea and Gulf of Aden connecting naval trade routes between the empires of Egypt and India. The Roman Empire (after annexing Egypt) setup military outposts across the Red Sea to protect this bountiful naval trade. Somalia itself had multiple trade towns as a result; and despite the dangers of piracy and raiders, trade flourished. Ethiopia and Somalia also distributed ivory, myrrh and other African goods from their inland territories; despite hostile tribes in the region. 
Somalia is infamous for being one of the worst nations on Earth; a desert nation with constant famines, poverty and political disunity. The Gulf of Aden is an important location for trading vessels as it allows trade between the Indian Ocean and Mediterranean Sea. This traffic of ships created overfishing, which made the fishermen of Somalia starve and attack these ships in retaliation. From 1986 to today, Somalia has been under a constant civil war, starting with the Somali Revolution. With the nation divided by rebel armies, these terrorists began committing piracy in the Gulf of Aden to fund their war.
The pirates still exist today and are growing in power, spreading their piracy as far as India. Because there is no single terrorist group in Somalia, the term 'Somali Pirate' can refer to any of the terrorist and rebel armies, although the most powerful is believed to be Al-Shabaab with an army size of about 15,000 men and have taken over the southern half of Somalia in 2011. The violence in Somalia has grown over the years, making Somalia one of the most unstable governments in the world to the point that criminals have better control over the people. Because piracy is such a luxurious criminal enterprise and the pirates organizations have survived international crackdowns, there is little chance that Somali Pirates will die out anytime soon. Although the Somali Civil War is still ongoing, piracy against large cargo and cruise boats decreased significantly as foreign navies better protecting their ships in the region and larger ships have started hiring heavily armed bodyguards or mercenaries for self defense.
The terrorist groups that make up the Somali Pirates continue to survive, and with the rise of terrorist groups in Syria, Lybia and Yemen, the nations near Somalia are dissolving in their own civil wars and creating their own Islamic extremists. The Somalian group Al-Shabaab has launched multiple attacks against Kenyan shopping malls in the 2010s, and have threatened to attack shopping malls of NATO nations including the USA. During the mid 2010s the terrorist group ISIS spread its influence into Africa in order to assist its growth in the region while a branch of Al Qaeda control half of Yemen, which might drive the Somali conflicts into deeper chaos.
On January 12, 2009: the Combined Task Force 151 was established to combat Somali Piracy; successfully cracking down on Somali Piracy. Between early 2012-2017, there were no reported Somali hijackings of a large merchant vessel. However as the Yemenese conflict intensifies and ISIS grows in Africa, the pirates are reviving their large scale hijacking.
Battle[edit | edit source]
The battle starts with a group of Somali Pirates approaching a warehouse near pier via motor boat. Inside the warehouse, Pablo Escobar and one of the Medellín Drug Cartel thugs are preparing packages of cocaine while a third member practices swinging his machete and a fourth dances to salsa music while holding an M60 machine gun. Outside, the Somali pirates dock their boat and advance towards the warehouse. The head pirate, armed with an AK-47, and two of his men, armed with a PKM Machine Gun and grappling hook, enter the warehouse while a fourth stays behind, shouldering his RPG-7 rocket launcher. Inside, they see the Cartel men relaxing and Escobar giving one of them a package of cocaine. As the thug goes to put it away, the PKM pirate jumps out and kills him with the machine gun. Escobar, alerted to the gunfire, grabs an Uzi while the dancing thug holds out his M60 machine gun and fires back. In the shadows, the other Cartel thug with the machete tries to sneak up on one of the Somali pirates while they're distracted by the gunfire. The hook pirate spots him as he charges and tries to fight back with his Grappling Hook. He parries the oncoming swing and hits the Cartel thug in his stomach. The thug counters in response by disarming the pirate's hand and then slashing his neck. The lead Somali pirate hears the commotion and turns and kills the Cartel man with his AK-47 with a single shot to the face. The other Cartel henchman continues to fire his M60, but it gets jammed. He drops it and picks up an Uzi. Both he and Pablo Escobar try to make a run for it. The PKM Pirate tries to shoot Escobar, but misses. The head pirate signals for him to run after the remaining Cartel members. Escobar runs down stairs, and turns around when he hears the pirate leader chasing him. The pirate takes cover behind a corner, and the two begin to exchange gunfire. The Somali pirate eventually manages to shoot Escobar in the left shoulder, who falls to the floor and lies motionless. The pirate steps on him as he comes down the stairs and takes his cigar and smokes it in satisfaction. Meanwhile, the other Cartel member climbs up stairs and enters a room. When the other Somali pirate opens the door, the Cartel thug opens fire with his Uzi and kills him. He sneers at the dead body and spits on it. Meanwhile, the head pirate sees a car with cocaine and a bag of money. He gets in the driver's seat and begins honking the horn to get the rocket pirate who chose to stay outside. He hears the horn and makes his way toward the garage. However, the head pirate is unaware that Pablo Escobar, who is behind the car, is still alive. Escobar struggles to get up, but his wounds are so bad that he cannot. He sees the pirate in the car and pulls out a remote. He sets himself up with his remaining strength and looks under the car, where a bomb is situated. Realizing that he has no other options, he presses the button on the remote as the other pirate approaches the garage. The bomb goes off, destroying the car and killing both Escobar and the head pirate while sending the last pirate to the asphalt. The last Cartel member hears the explosion and runs for an exit. The Somali pirate sits up and starts to clean off the debris when he sees the last Cartel member exiting from a door. He stands up and prepares his RPG-7 Rocket Launcher. The Cartel member sees him and desperately tries to go back inside, only to find that the door is locked from the inside and cannot be opened. The pirate fires the rocket, which flies at the Cartel thug and blows up. The remaining pirate roars in victory and walks away.
Expert's Opinion[edit | edit source]
The experts deemed that the reason why the Somali Pirates were victorious was due to the reliability of the PKM and the fact that the Medellin Cartel chose weapons that were fear-based instead of battle efficient.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Piracy is the dominant economy in Somalia. It is so relatively lucrative that a stock exchange exists in Somalia's black market. Annual income estimates are as high as $200,000,000.
- Somalian Pirates target white people the most as Western Nations have a high respect for life and tend to have more money. They also offer softer punishments for captured pirates and many pirates who were released from prison became citizens of the western nations. Asian and Middle Eastern ships are avoided as those governments and negotiators are less likely to haggle with hostages and offer stricter punishment for piracy, including execution.
- Because Somalia is in a civil war; it has no navy to effectively defend its coastline from illegal fishing and pollution dumping, which further intensifies famine in the nation. Many Somali Pirates are skilled with their boats since they were fishermen forced to rebel against these foreign vessels committing these crimes unopposed. The ransoms were so lucrative, that many fishermen made piracy their new career.
- Some Somali Pirate clans have 'mother ships' located safely in the open ocean. This is essentially their base of operation. This can be used to allow the Pirates to raid an extra 100 miles away.
- Somali Pirate raids have reached over 1000 miles away from Somalia and has occasionally raided Indian coastlines.
- A list of modern anti-pirate weapons: 
- Only after 2009 (during the peak of Somali Piracy) have cargo ships been allowed by international law to carry weapons for self defense; and even then, many nations today refuse to arm cargo ships. Many cargo and merchant-marine companies that would rather buy 'Ransom Insurance': since not all cargo ships were raided, it made sense in the largescale to buy insurance to afford the ransoms. Pirates rarely killed hostages if a ransom was paid quickly, so it was financially more viable and somewhat safer to keep the crew unarmed or to not hire bodyguards. Some nations were also cautious of having a crew of armed men sail near their borders; regardless of if they were on a civilian cargo boat, it was still theoretically possible for an army or terrorist group to use the threat of Pirates to justify arming themselves before launching a raid. Still; due to anti-piracy reforms, some cargo ships do hire armed guards for self-defense. This cargo protection industry is quite lucrative.
- The largest ship ever captured by Somali Pirates was the Saudi Arabian MV Sirius Star. The ransom paid to the Somali Pirates was $3,000,000. Its capture by Pirates was a major factor in initiating the Anti-Piracy Combined Task Force 151.
- The pirate using an RPG is the only generic sim combatant whose name is known; we hear the pirate with the AK yelling "Abdullah" to get his attention.
- In the fight, one of the pirates stays on the boat as a getaway driver. He does not take part in the fight at all. The same thing happens with Al Capone.
- In the Aftermath, the Somali expert is the first victor to admit that they didn't think that their warrior would win. He thought that Somali were not as bloodthirsty since they're more prone to taking the crews hostages when they attack a ship instead of killing them.
- The Somali Pirates were mentioned in the Back for Blood special as a comparison of pirates of today.
- This is the first episode to have an amputation in it when the Cartel with the machete cuts off the pirate with grappling hook's arm off.
- Somali Pirates have deep hatred of the U.S. Navy Seals since the Seals always look for them constantly and the USA are engaged in war in Somalia.